charlie

Yesterday a man wearing a beanie walked into my dad's office right ahead of Charlie. This man also happened to be black. Charlie yelled, "Mom, it's a brown snowman!" because wouldn't you know it, anybody wearing a beanie is a snowman.

A few examples of why I don't get so much done during Charlie's waking hours:
-He loves being on my mom's counter. While there, he put all the bananas in a big bowl of soup. He removed the squirting part of the soap dispenser and mixed the banana soup with it, sloshing the soup all over the counter. Then he put all the tomatoes in the sink. One down the drain. He pulled one out and set it on the counter, then proceeded to eat it like an apple. Except he is in a no hands phase. Therefore he ended up looking very much like a dog eating an apple (or tomato). Charlie is equally as messy as any puppy. In good news, he also tries to clean up his messes by laying on his tummy and slurping up whatever mess he has made. He then went to the fridge, got out a package of mushrooms, opened it and fed it to Buster. Found a Styrofoam cup and bit it apart piece by piece. Then chased the dog until Buster almost died. Then, he slipped into the pantry and unpacked a Costco container of mixed nuts. Lining them up on the shelves and cans. This was all within 10-15 minutes. NO JOKE.
A few more justifications for my exhaustion:
-He loves lotion and putting it in his hair. He follows that up by saying, "I look awesome. I need more ocean"
-He has a new love of unloading the contents of refrigerators or freezers, and carefully placing each item on the floor or counter.
-He loves the bathroom sink. He closes the toilet lid, climbs to the counter, puts down the stopper and fills the sink with water. Then, he puts everything that is unfortunate enough to be on the counter into the sink. If it can hold water, he drinks out of it. Lids are especially good for this pastime (deodorant lids, lids to bathroom cleaners, toothpaste cap etc) Sometimes he sticks his hand very close to the faucet in order to spray the bathroom with water.
-If I straighten the couches and put the pillows on, he jumps on the couches and throws the pillows on the ground
-He spits, throws and dumps any and all food or liquid on the ground. When he is done with a dish or cup he throws it into the sink-oftentimes from the table. Oftentimes he misses.Which leads us to...
-he makes messes just to clean them up. He will dump a bowl full of something on the ground and then rush to the closet for the broom or mop to take care of things
-He refuses to nap, and emerges from his room about every two and a half minutes requiring a band-aid or tums, acting like he's never been fed before, or claiming to be afraid of Swiper the sneaky fox- who is stealing things in his room, coyotes, tigers or whales. (a big shout out to Dora the Explorer, dad, Bedtime for Francis and Finding Nemo for those unfounded fears)
-He unloads and every last scrap of newspaper/junk mail from the recycling boxes onto the floor with arms that look like windmills and move just as quickly. If I pick it up, he dumps it back out.
-He insists on helping me with everything. There is no task that I can quickly do alone. He hands me each and every dish and utensil out of the dishwasher. He puts each piece of laundry into the washing machine, then into the dryer (also, he says taaaank you! for each and every item when I give it to him). He holds onto the vacuum when I vacuum, the jug of milk when I pour, the dustpan when I sweep. He pushes buttons on the computer, downloads apps and makes calls on the phone. He removes dvd's from the dvd player, climbs to reach things he can't get to and empties each and every box, garbage can and hamper as quickly as he can get to it. Since discovering Fireman Sam and his fabulous firefighter hat, each of these receptacles becomes a fireman hat.  Also, he walks around the house with a garbage can or hamper on his head, running into things he has already strewn around the house. Thus, returning us to the medicine cabinet for more band-aids, lots of kisses and sometimes a treat.
-He takes care of Stella by jamming her binky in her mouth.
-Every produce item that enters our house is christened by having a giant Charlie sized bite taken out of it, or having a strange item poked into it (ie keys in oranges, power cords in bananas, medicine syringes in avocados. all true accounts)
*Let's remember that none of these things are on his level. He climbs, jumps and moves furniture or toys to get to what he wants. You should see him balance on the end of his bed to see out the window. Amazing.

All of this and so so so much more happens in just one morning. After looking at it I don't feel quite so bad about the piles of laundry, dirty dishes and lack of crafting around our house. The fact that the kids get their diapers changed (more than I'd like) fed (constantly) clean clothes (rarely) and bathed (even more rare) is, in fact, a miracle. Maybe someday, I'll pull it together enough (or find a movie long enough) to clean toilets, or prepare my Sunday school lesson before Sunday morning, or heaven forbid, dry my hair and apply a little makeup. Probably no matter how good the movie is, there still won't be time for crafting.


And also he is really cute