Give Him A Mountain

Today we took Stella to the doctor for her one year check up. As usual, she was a dream. All her stats were amazing. She is in the 87th percentile for weight and the 92nd for length. Her head is in the 60s. She's surpassed many of the 15 month milestones and says loads of words for her age. The doctor even told me that I could skip her next appointment and just come back in six months because she's just so amazing (also, she's my second child so I, theoretically, know the ropes now).
  Since I had no concerns about Stella to discuss-besides the fact that she acts like she's being tortured if we give her a sip of milk-I asked the doctor if we could chat about Charlie instead. I did the classic "is this normal?" thing, that really, mothers should not do. If there's one thing we all know by now, it is that there's no such thing as normal. But, I did it anyway. I told him about Charlie's rambunctious little self: running away and pretending he can't hear me calling, climbing on things, getting into enormous amounts of trouble, getting lost in Costco....the usual. We cleared up that there is nothing wrong with his hearing, then Doctor Glade told me that his ignoring me is actually a sign of intelligence-he can pretend me away when he wants to. That was not comforting.
  Then this most wonderful doctor in the world taught me a thing or two about parenting my boy. He explained that kids act out so that they can get more attention (even if it is negative attention). This I knew. Then, he pointed out that one of the repercussions of their behavior and subsequent punishment is a rush of adrenaline. The same thing happens when Charlie runs away or continues doing something he's not supposed to. He loves that rush of adrenaline. So yelling to warn him of an oncoming vehicle, or to stop Stop STOP dumping water all over the cat or kicking your uncle, is actually just reinforcing that behavior. Tricky right?
  He asserted that we probably won't get through life with our little adrenaline junky without countless more of these incidents. He said, "he will definitely be the boy who is begging for a motorcycle when he's 12." Thank you doctor. He suggested we find a few activities where Charlie can feed his need for adrenaline in a more controlled, disciplined environment. Karate, gymnastics, swimming or rock climbing are a few we are considering. I asked if it would be safe for Charlie to start rock climbing right now, he looked at me with a little smile and a bit of sympathy and said, "He's going to be climbing anyway. Give him a mountain to climb." Then he left.
  I almost cried. It is just so hard to figure out each of these little ones and the things they need. What a blessing to have a doctor listen to you, then tell you just what you need to hear. I left the office feeling enormously grateful and more than a little bit terrified about what our future will bring :)