Catching Up

I've been extremely overwhelmed about catching up on the blog. Everything is so wonderful...it's hard to describe it at all, let alone cover the past 10 fabulous and not-so-fab weeks since Stella girl arrived. Every second Charlie is doing something new that is completely hilarious (or hysterical, as he likes to say, followed by a fake laugh) and I think, "I've really got to write this down. It is so funny." And then I don't, and by the time I revisit the blog, he has done 5 gazillion other hysterical things and I can't keep track. So, just take my word for it, he is completely hilarious. I wish I had a little court reporter on wheels following us around every second, taking down everything he says. It's that good. EVERYTHING he does is funny. Except running away...we will revisit that later (accompanied by pictures of the best solution we can come up with-the monkey pack-pack/leash).
   I really do have good reasons for not blogging, although I think adjusting to having children is probably quite enough. The first week I was resting and enjoying my hospital vacation. After that, I came home and was miserable. I was recovering from the surgery, sick from the pain meds, then in pain because I stopped taking the pain meds. I had a painful stomach virus,a sore arm from the vaccines I got before leaving the hospital and an aching back from the spinal block. Not to mention the engorgement, exhaustion, out of control hormones (read that like the aunt from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It makes everything much funnier), night sweats and the list goes on.
   After I got feeling better physically, I was still somewhat of an emotional wreck. I never ate and had meltdown panic attacks. My sweet husband dropped everything and took care of me and did his darndest to make me happy. Four weeks after the baby was born, I still felt like I was lugging an elephant around with me everywhere I went. I was functioning, taking care of the kids and house and cooking, but I felt heavy and detached. I loved my sweet baby, but I never looked at her and felt that "oh, I just can't get enough of her, she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, I'm so very happy" feeling. My mom came to help me one day (aka do damage control and try to force feed me a salad, which I literally gagged down), she suggested that I call the doctor. I thought she was an idiot and just didn't remember the baby blues. I pulled out a pregnancy book to prove to her that I was normal and lo and behold, those dang baby blues should have gone away much earlier.
  Later I looked up post-postpartum depression online and bawled when I read the description, because I didn't feel like such a lunatic anymore. Such a relief. I called the doctor at the crack of dawn Monday morning and the sweet nurse reassured me that I was normal and then called in a beautiful prescription.
   A week later we were headed off to Washington for Jessamyn's wedding. I had a meltdown the night before we were supposed to leave and sat staring at nothing instead of getting ready. The next day I started packing and we headed out on our 15 hour trip at 2:00 in the afternoon. When we got to Sandy, I realized that I had forgotten my medicine and my extremely necessary pump, we bought milkshakes and braved the road construction yet again to return home. Finally we set off. I prayed that we wouldn't die while we were gone, because I would have died a second death if anybody had seen my house the way I'd left it. It looked like intruders had com in and ransacked the place, then set off a bomb.
   The trip to Washington was shockingly pleasant, despite all my worrying about driving with a two year old and a newborn. I had forgotten that I have angel babies. Stella slept for the two day drive up and the two day drive back. Charlie watched movies and was more or less a zombie. He was in heaven. He only threw one tantrum and it was at 10:30pm. I reached back and held his hand, and he promptly fell asleep. I know it's not possible, but I sure wish I could solve his little boy and big boy and teenage problems so easily. With Charlie and Stella both asleep we decided to push on so that Friday's drive would be nice and short. It was a beautiful night and it felt like we were on a date, asking each other questions and loving life together. When we got tired, we pulled off and found a hotel, at which point we remembered we were not on a date, as we hauled our two sleepy and cranky babies inside with all their equipment.
  The next morning Cam said that if it hadn't been for Stella and Charlie staying up late, waking up in the night and getting up early the next morning, he would have slept great. And I laughed. I think that every single day.
   We arrived in Wenatchee in plenty of time to bathe Charlie to remove the refried beans he had smeared on his cheeks and forehead like war paint. We had plenty of time to get ready for the wedding (although somehow Cam and I both almost managed to miss it-and yes, it was in the backyard). Everything was simple and so beautiful. Jess looked gorgeous, everyone was happy, the treats were delish and the company was wonderful. Stella was passed around and adored, Charlie collected each fallen rose petal and learned the phrase "dance party!" which he used liberally for the rest of the trip.
   We planned on staying until Monday, but had such a nice and relaxing time that we ended up staying until Saturday. Jess and Anthony joined us for the Salmon Festival and kettle corn, we watched movies, visited Grandma King and listened to conference. Cam hiked and visited friends and family. I did my hair and makeup for a change and wore the same outfit everyday.We went on dates to get dairy queen blizzards and out for walks together. Charlie went on walks with Grammy, to the library and park with Grammy. Wrestled Rusty, ate Grammy's pears, chased and wrestled with Pappy, went to work with Grammy and watched finding Nemo-all before I woke up in the morning. Stella just did what she does best: eat, sleep and be adorable.
   We all walked the trail along the river, watched movies and ate our body weight in kettle corn and popcorn. Maybe I just speak for myself on that one. Oddly enough neither Cam or I lost weight on this trip. Strange.
   On the way home our kids were angels again. Stella slept and Charlie watched movies and ate ring pops and french fries.
   My medication kicked in by the second day of our trip and I have felt like a rock star ever since.The pills don't make me happy, they just lifted the heaviness and now I feel capable of being me again. Nothing is perfect, but it sure feels like it is. I have two perfect babies, a fantastic husband, wonderful family and friends.
   I have spent the last few weeks trying to reestablish schedules, play with Charlie and cuddle with Stella. We are slowly but surely taming the chaos that ensued after the baby was born and it feels great. It has been amazing to feel like I can slow down a bit after running around like crazy-especially in the last year. It is so fun to cook again, give baths, read stories and be followed around by a tornado of a two year old. Said two-year-old also sleeps with me every night. This is only acceptable, because he has learned to snuggle and does so every morning after smacking me in the face and yelling "wake up!"
   Now a word about Stella Grace, who is really the reason for all this chaos. She is absolutely perfect. I've never heard of such an easy baby, nor do I think I've seen such a pretty one. From day one, she has had the most calm and peaceful demeanor. She sleeps through the night, eats like a champ, always burps, but never spits up. Her features are delicate and her skin is like porcelain. It sounds cliche, but she never got all the skin yuckiness/preview of puberty skin that most babies get. It took 6 weeks longer for me to coax a smile out of her than it did her brother, but it was very worth it. She smiles and coos with the cutest little baby voice I've ever heard. She only cries when she's hungry. Even then, it's more of a yell, like "hey, don't forget I'm here. Feed me!" Also, she cries when she gets hit in the face with a broom by her brother. Yes. That happened. It wasn't the highlight of my parenting experience. Normally though, he adores her. He is always rubbing her little head and repeating, "s'ok stella, s'ok. Baby Sella. Baby sisser." When we drive, he keeps a hand on her car seat and tells us to be careful. He reassures her, "I got you grill!" All of these things are said in an extremely high voice.
  When he doesn't want me holding Stella, he says, "Baby, down bed."  but that's not too often. He likes to help take care of her and I recently found him pretending to sleep in her bed. He steals her binky, sucks on it and insists that he is really sleepy and needs to sleep in her bed and be "cov up" by her blanket. Sometimes I find him standing in front of her with a goofy grin frozen on his face-trying to make her smile. She loves to watch him and I think there is potential for them to be very good friends!

Somehow I forgot to publish this post, so now it's been a couple extra weeks. Ahh, well. We will get there. At least now I will be free to share cute pictures and talk about recent events!